I can vividly remember one day -during my first year of being diagnosed with psoriasis- my auntie handing me a bunch of printed off material entitled the 'Koebner Phenomenon'. At the time I was pretty severely covered and didn't have a great detail of insight into psoriasis and it's triggers and after handing me this my auntie keenly exclaimed how it was of course my tongue piercing that had caused my psoriasis outbreak. I had to laugh- aside from the fact that I think she had misunderstood the research (my psoriasis was on every part of my body EXCLUDING the the inside of my mouth meaning there was no correlation in the lesions present in relation to my piercing) , I had had the piercing AFTER discovering I had psoriasis (which I know you're not supposed to do anyway but my skin couldn't have gotten much worse). I have to admit it was an admirable attempt from her to try and get me to lose the tongue ring and although it was unsuccessful I was interested in learning about this phenomenon- I had often noticed how after wearing tight shoes or shoes that rubbed for a while seemed to produce fresh lesions where the pressure had been. In any case I thought I would do a bit more research on the topic and present my findings.
It would seem as though the slightly eccentric Heinrich Kobner was dedicated to solving our skin ailments. Not only had he founded the University of Dermatology in Breslau but in 1872 he presented some very interesting findings to the Silesian Society for National Culture after initial observations of patients who had developed psoriasis at the sites of excoriations, animal bites and tattoos & 4 years later in 1876 he published his work on the Koebner Phenomenon with much research being conducted on the topic ever since. The Koebner response (also termed the isomorphic reaction meaning a reaction in the same form) can be presented with psoriasis, lichen planus, still warts, pityriasis rubra pilaris and other skin diseases and it refers to skin lesions appearing along the lines of trauma, often in a linear manner and the lesions can even appear in areas where psoriasis was previously not present.
Although the time from the injury to the appearance of a skin lesion varies according to the skin disease, with psoriasis there is a range from 3 day up to 2 years! Current theories apparently suggest that both the epidermis (outer layer of skin) and dermis (layer of skin below the surface) have to be injured at the same site to produce a reaction. Psoriasis has been the most researched skin disease in relation to this with it effecting 50% of psoriasis sufferers- often noticing the Koebner response has helped in actually diagnosing psoriasis as it is notoriously quite difficult to distinguish from other skin conditions. It has been noted that the response is particularly prevalent in unstable psoriasis, patients who have had psoriasis from a young age, emotionally distressed patients & patients who have received multiple treatments for psoriasis. It is also worth noting that it seems to be more likely to occur in winter rather than summer, it doesn't seem to be related to disease activity although occurs less frequently during periods of remission. & places on the body where scars are more likely to form are more prone to being effected. Triggers for the response are generally divided into the following categories:
-MECHANICAL / THERMAL TRAUMA= animal & insect bites, burns, electodessication, excoriation, freezing, friction, gunshot wounds, lacerations, nail manicuring, poor fitting shoes, pressure (e.g. when skin is irritated by a bra strap or belt) , shaving, surgical grafts, surgical incision, tape stripping, thumb sucking, x-rays, sun burn, tattoos, acupuncture
-DERMATOSES= skin conditions including boils & cysts, dermatitis, candida, eczema, herpes, psoriasis, scabies., poison ivy,
-ALLERGIC/ IRRITANT REACTIONS= following BCG vaccination, influenza vaccination, hair spray, hair tints, photosensitivity, skin patch testing, tattoos.
To avoid a Koebner lesion quickly dress any wound to avoid skin infection/irritation that could trigger a flare. If you do get a cut or bite, let the scab heal itself and avoid picking at it as doing so could increase your chafes of a plaque developing. Other advice includes to pat yourself dry gently after a bath or shower to reduce friction irritation, wear gloves when undertaking work which could damage the skin, avoid scratching or bruising your skin, wear comfortable clothes that don't irritate your skin & clean your nails to prevent fungal infections.
As a side note (albeit an important one), if you do notice that you experience the Koebner Phenomenon it may be worth knowing that research suggests that an injury could also trigger psoriatic arthritis. If you already have psoriasis and you injure a bone or joint you are 30% more likely to get psoriatic arthritis in that spot (http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/psoriasis/koebner-phenomenon#1)
16/08/16: NAIL PSORIASIS
You probably can't tell from the picture above but a recent outbreak of nail psoriasis has been wreaking havoc on my favourite itching tools. I've been experiencing pitting (what looks like tiny pin-drops on my nails), a yellowy brown discolouration at the tips of my nails and worst of all they have become incredibly brittle and break off at weird angles and become wavy. It's also affected my toe-nails which have become crumbly making it look as though I have a fungal infection (which is initially what I thought I had but alas, it had to be a symptom of my best friend P). I would consider my nail psoriasis to be mild so I'm not overly concerned about it in comparison to my skin psoriasis, however just like skin, nails are something we take for granted until it impacts our everyday lives, but anyway I thought I would do a bit of research and present my findings.
Approximately 50% of people with psoriasis (80% of people with psoriatic arthritis) will suffer from nail psoriasis and for some reason it is often more common in fingernails than toenails, it is not known why some people get nail psoriasis and others don't. On the flip side only 5% of people who do not have skin psoriasis suffer from nail psoriasis. The nail is made of modified skin growing from the nail matrix, which is the root, causing pitting and ridging of the nails. Once it has grown it can be altered by clipping or filing. Nail psoriasis can sometimes be the most difficult to treat as there are not many treatments targeted for the nails that have proven to be consistently effective. Psoriasis affects the nail whilst it is being formed and as nails grow very slowly and most treatments affect the new nail that is developing rather than the existing nail it is important to remember that patience is key with it taking up to a year (2 years for toenails) for the nail to grow out...oh and it's worth noting that improvement with fingernails is often more substantial than improvement in toenails.
The Nail Psoriasis Severity Index (NAPSI) was recently developed to quantify the involvement of the nails affected by psoriasis and is used to get an idea of what treatment programme will be most effective although it isn't used much in clinical practice. Individual nails are divided into four quadrants and each nail assigned a score of 1 for the presence of psoriasis in the nail matrix, a score of 1 for the signs of nail bed psoriasis meaning the maximum NAPSI score per nail is 8 and the maximum NAPSI score for all nails is 160.
Psoriasis can enhance the speed of nail growth and thickness of the nail plate. Some other most common symptoms of nail psoriasis are as follows...
Pitting of the nails: the surface of the nail develops small pits, the number varying from one to a dozen, resembling the surface of a thimble. The pits develop when cells are lost from the nails surface.
Onycholysis: The nails becomes detached from the nail bed and a gap develops. This gap can become colonised by bacteria such as pseudomonas which can then produce a dark green pigment. The nail can consequently become infected and discoloured.
Subungal hyperkeratosis: a chalky subsance accumulates under the nail, the nail becomes raised and can become tender, especially when pressure is applied to the surface of the nail. It can be particularly painful when present in the toenail where it is hard to avoid pressure from shoes etc.
Discolouration: Unusual nail colour which normally presents as a yellow-brown colour.
Onychomycosis: a fungal infection that can cause thickening of the nails and can be present alongside psoriasis making psoriasis difficult to diagnose. It is estimated that around 35% of people who have psoriasis may also have a fungal infection worsening the nail condition. It is worth noting that treating the infection may not have any impact on the psoriasis clearance.
In terms of treating your nail psoriasis here are some tips I've gleaned from the google...
-Keep nails short: try to trim them back to the point of firm attachment and file gently.
-Try to protect your nails from damage because this can worsen the problem. Consider wearing gloves when you do something that could cause damage.
-Do not clean dirt or debris from under the nail with a sharp object or nail brush as this can increase onycholsis. Instead soaking nails in soapy water may be sufficient.
-Rubbing moisturisers into the nails/cuticles or soaking them in emollient oils may help.
-Soak toenails for 10 mins to soften nails before filing the thickened part of the nail. You should cut straight across the toenail to prevent it becoming ingrown. It helps to wear roomy, comfortable shoes.
-Nail varnish/ hardener can be used to conceal damage however nail treatments that extend the length of the nail may cause more damage.
-Try rubbing topical steroids into the cuticle. Although some people have found this effective, do be aware that it is a vulnerable area due to fine blood vessels over the surface and skin thinning may occur, a side-effect often associated with topical steroids. Many dermatologists also note that they see an improvement with the application of a vitamin D analogue. Calcipotriol is also recommended as a topical steroid, it may be easier to apply a scalp solution for some rather then the gel as it can be dripped under the nail.
-Injections of steroids under the nail accompanied by a local anaesthetic may be recommended by your Dr. however it is not a good routine treatment.
-Removal of the nail can be done quite painlessly using a high concentration of urea applied under polythene occlusion under the nail. The nail then becomes jelly-like and can be peeled off. Nails can also be removed using x-ray therapy or surgery however they may still grow back abnormally
-Systemic treatments / biologics (e.g. methotrexate, humira etc.) are used where nail psoriasis is severe however they are normally only prescribed if skin or arthritis is also involved, this is because the risk/benefit ratio does not justify this type of treatment.
-Cortisone injections have proved to be the most successful type of treatment so far and when performed properly with a cooling spray applied are not usually too painful.
-Occasionally anti-fungal medications may be required however delivery of medications to the nail area is difficult because of the barrier presented by the nail plate (this is why topical treatments are not effective in all cases).
-Salicylic acid and tazarotene are other local treatments that can be used for nail psoriasis.
-Some people have experienced results from spraying magnesium oil (available from health food shops) onto the nail.
-Zorac used before bed rubbed into the nail beds has been recommended.
-Others suggest using a glass nail file rather than a simple emery board.
-Neem oil as well as Tea tree oil have been lauded as natural topical treatments.
-Indigo Naturalis, a Chinese herb may be a promising treatment with a 24 week trial comparing twice a day application proving to show more improvement to calcipotriol application. It particularly improved onycholisis and subungal hyperkeratosis.
-An over-the-counter product that may help is herbfarmacy nail and cuticle oil (£12.50, herbfarmacy.com).
-You could also try soaking your nails in tar bath oil mixed with water and then apply a nail moisturiser. Soaking your nails in sea salt baths is also praised to help keep nails strong and thick.
17/04/16: FRUSTRATION & ANGER
I must apologise for my absence on the social media scene as of late. As I've said before, I'm stuck in a job which I completely hate (I'm sure this in itself isn't good for my skin!) and by the time I get home I normally find that I'm completely frazzled & drained and it doesn't help that I get ridiculously uncomfortable and itchy at night. It's so horrible when you're so tired, and you know if you don't go to sleep soon you're also going to be so tired tomorrow...in addition to having very sore skin from all the frantic scratching. So I'm sure you can imagine (I say imagine in hope that no one else has to actually experience the reality of dermatology waiting lists in Manchester) my frustration and anger that after over a year of waiting just to get an appointment to see an NHS dermatologist that after finally seeing one I have had to wait a further three months to get an appointment just for blood tests to check I'm eligible to start treatment in the form of humira...and this is after paying for a consultation with a private dermatologist which was a complete waste of money. My appointment has been moved back TWICE now. I have never ever had an appointment which has not been cancelled. No word of a lie. Every time I get my hopes up that, after having to get time off work to attend all my appointments & no longer having any holidays left to actually have a holiday, that maybe something productive might actually happen in terms of my psoriasis care. What actually happens is that after an hour of travelling to get to the hospital I have a rushed 5 minute appointment after waiting for 10 minuted over my appointment slot time, where the dermatologist simply listens to what I've told them before, has an incredibly brief glimpse of my skin and either asks me to book another appointment (which inevitably gets changed anyway!) or prescribes me bloody dovobet and aveeno, neither of which have ever helped after 4 years experience of this disease!Rant Over!Just so you know I've been continuing with my high street skin products experimentation by trying out Neutrogena's skin care range. I have one more product to try and then I'll be posting my review. In addition to this I've been using apple cider vinegar both topically and drinking two tablespoons a day, again I'll be posting my results here as soon as I've finished the bottle off.I hope you're all doing well and know that even if I don't post much I'm always checking my messages and checking out other peoples posts and it's always lovely to hear from other people so I won't be giving up on my chronicles any time soon!
12/01/16: GUESS WHO'S BACK
First things first- HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL! - I've got a feeling this year's for me & you & all psoriasis sufferers everywhere.
Anyway it feels like I've been off the scene for a while, mainly due to my poor organisational skills & spending a lot of hours at work so I thought I'd post on update on where I'm at with things.
In regards to my dermatology appointment which I had in December, it turned out to be a bit of a fail. I was offered PUVA but it involved another long waiting list of 3 months and I'm getting to my wits end with these 3am itchy wake up calls from my skin so my dad decided to get me a private consultation again which was around £200 I think (he wouldn't tell me exactly how much). I have a lotta love for the NHS but when it comes to my experience with dermatology with them I can't stand waiting 11 months just to find out what treatment I'm having, never mind the waiting lists for actually getting the treatment.
I noticed a marked difference in the way I was treated at the private hospital...aside from the free hot chocolate (maybe free is the wrong word to use) the appointment was a lot more relaxed and there was much less rushing. I felt more at ease in talking and giving my story. It seems unfair that you can only access a caring service if you have money and I won't get into the politics of it here.
After my skin being inspected I was given a PASI score of 16.5.
You need a score of 10 + to be eligible for biologics and given my previous treatment history the doc recommended me moving back on to biologics.
But this means more waiting unless I want to pay £700 for blood testing & pay for the drugs myself which will be in the thousands of pounds region. Oh well, He's put me down for the clinical trials so hopefully something will come up soon!
I hope the wintery coldness hasn't been as harsh on your skin as it has on mine!
The prebiotic/probiotic/ synbiotic diet doesn't seem to be making much of a difference to my skin but I'll stick with it until February when I'll be trying out juicing...yes I got a Nutribullet for christmas. Until then I'll be positing about probiotic & prebiotic food sources on my instagram (sorry if you find it boring) but don't fear I'll still be posting about other stuff too.
29/11/15: MY PLAN OF ACTION
One of my favourite ways to stay hopeful that I can be rid of this disease is by planning my next move until I eventually reach check-mate. So here's my five step plan & don't worry I'm fully aware of how much of how cheesy this is.
1.DEFENCE
By defence I mean making sure my skin is as protected as it can be from dryness and psoriasis. This will involve testing out lots of lotions and potions either specifically aimed to alleviate psoriasis/ dry skin problems (just so you know I'm not equating psoriasis with dry skin but it can't be denied that itchy dry skin is part of it!) or testing naturally derived products to discover what works best for me. I have a huge list of products to try out but I know that products alone won't get to the root of the problem. The great part of this is that I can try using new skin products in combination with other parts of my plan as it will be easier to differentiate which part of the plan is causing me to clear up (whereas it wouldn't work with diet and dermatology because it would be difficult to know which one worked). My main aim here is to be comfortable and to minimise itching in the most convenient way possible whereas my main aim with the other points is to just get clear!
2.DERMATOLOGY
This will involve following the advice of my dermatologist so I am at their mercy with this one. Previously I have received treatment as a hospital inpatient, I've tried all the creams etc they've prescribed, I've tried UVB & PUVA & I've also tried Ciclosporin, Methotrexate and very briefly Humira. I'm intrigued to see what they will say (slight understatement, I'm counting down the days!). I think this will be my best hope at getting clear skin. I know a lot of people are opposed to medical intervention and would prefer to go down the natural route however I am literally so sick and tired of this disease that the very unappealing side effects are more appealing than living with this disease for the rest of my life.
3.DIET
So many diets I've discovered on the internet that claim to heal psoriasis! As a foodie it was disheartening for me to discover that many people link psoriasis with this 'leaky gut syndrome' thing. I've seen such great results from people on instagram who have eliminated one thing or another from their diets (usually dairy/ gluten) that I just have to give it a go. It's probably going to be the cheapest way for me to return to a functioning immune system. I'm first going to try adding things to my diet (probiotics, anti-inflammatory foods, turmeric infused diet) before I start taking things out of my diet. It's going to be a difficult test of will-power anyway that's for sure.
4. DE-STRESS
Every single psoriasis sufferer must have been asked hundreds of times if they are stressed. I mean, surely everyone has at least a little bit of stress in their lives? I think a little bit of stress can actually be a good thing, without it I'd probs just choose to stay in bed all day. I do know that I'm an anxious worrier prone to overthinking though and being a standard British introvert I often keep all my problems and thoughts to myself which I don't think helps. For this point I'll be looking at alternative ways to get rid of all that built up stress e.g. various forms of exercise, aromatherapy, acupuncture, meditation. I'm probably most excited to reach this point but I must admit I think it will be more of an aid than a cure...and probably most expensive!
5.DELIVER
I'd love to continue being a part of the skin community forever! It would be so great to take part in fundraising opportunities and advocating awareness more. Unfortunately at the moment time restrictions prevent me from doing so (I promise I'm not exaggerating, my life at the moment mainly consists of working, blogging & researching skin stuff). I think awareness is so key and trying to reduce stigma so that people like me with psoriasis don't feel so lonely or isolated- and also so I can meet me more psoriasis buddies.
So there you have it, my simple but hopefully effective psoriasis plan of action. As you can see I want to leave no stone unturned in my quest for clear skin, seems to me that it's the only way to work out what will work for me.
10/11/15: MY STRONG SONGS
I'm a STRONG believer in the power of music (I capitalised strong to show how humorous I am- because the title of this post is strong-haha). When it comes to feelings and emotions and stuff it's really important to have an outlet for those emotions and also something that can help influence those emotions. 21st century inspirational quote style philosophy has us exalting the notion that we are in control of our emotions, no one can MAKE us feel anything, we choose our thought process we choose our mindset and we then choose how to react. Staying in control of our emotions is incredibly difficult though, especially when our emotions are related to how we feel about ourselves. I personally find it much easier to accept and forgive others than I do myself. I'm very critical of myself when it comes to my appearance: my weight, my teeth, my eyebrows, my hair, my moles...but it was my psoriasis that made me truly hate myself and my appearance. I'm currently in the process of healing physically but most importantly mentally and one of my biggest loves in life (music!) is helping me do that by helping me to regain and stay in control and it's not all about focusing on the positive. As well as strong, calm and happy songs I'll also be telling you my favourite sad songs cause sometimes you just gotta let it all out. This week I've listed ten of my motivational songs that remind me that you just have to keep on keepin' on, I find these are good to listen to in the morning accompanied by a good warrior dance to take on the day (whilst simultaneously getting ready of course).
1. CLEAN BANDIT-STRONGER: I'm obsessed with Clean Bandit. Never mind the song, every single member of the band inspires me with their intelligence and accomplishments. The song has such an up-beat catchy tune although it took a while to grow on me. As with most of the songs on the list though it's the lyrics I like most. I very much think we should be 'strong' and achieve things for ourselves but still, I'm sure everyone has that someone they want to impress, someone that makes them want to be the best...For me, my person makes me want to be more emotionally strong because sometimes I do allow my psoriasis to take over me...here are my fave lyrics:
*People tell me to be cautious//People tell me not to lose my self control//People tell me to be flawless//People tell me not to let myself evolve//And I think I don't really get it//I think it's all just a peculiar game//And soon I'll wake up and I'll forget it//And everyone will know me by a different name.
2.FOALS- MOUNTAIN AT MY GATE: Everyone has their own mountain to overcome, mine's psoriasis. Love the lyrics for this, they speak for themselves:
*I see a mountain at my gates//I see it more and more each day//What I give, it takes away...//I see a mountain in my way//It's looming larger by the day//I see a darkness in my fate
I'll drive my car without the brakes//Oh, gimme some time//Show me the foothold from which I can climb//Yeah, when I feel low//You show me a signpost for where I should go...//Fire lake and far flame//Go now but come again//Dark clouds gather 'round//Will I run or stand my ground?
3.BEN HOWARD- KEEP YOUR HEAD UP: Such a lovely, reassuring, comforting song: *And I cut my mind on second best or the scars that come with the greeness...//I'm walkin' back down this mountain//With the strength of a turnin' tide//Oh the wind's so soft on my skin,//The sun so hard upon my side.//Oh lookin' out at this happiness,//I search for between the sheets.//Oh feelin' blind and realise,//All I was searchin' for was me.//keep your head up, keep your heart strong...//Keep your mind set, keep your hair long.
4.FLORENCE & THE MACHINE- SHAKE IT OUT: One of the strongest songs on this list, gets me every time! *Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way//And all of the ghouls come out to play//And every demon wants his pound of flesh//But I like to keep some things to myself//I like to keep my issues drawn//It's always darkest before the dawn//And I've been a fool and I've been blind//I can never leave the past behind//I can see no way, I can see no way//I'm always dragging that horse around//All of his questions, such a mournful sound//Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground//...And I am done with my graceless heart//So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart.
5.OASIS- ROLL WITH IT: ALL OF THESE LYRICS! (promise I'm not being biased because I'm from Manchester).
6.SARA BAREILLES- BRAVE: *You can be the outcast//Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love//Or you can start speaking up//Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do//When they settle 'neath your skin//Kept on the inside and no sunlight//Sometimes a shadow wins//But I wonder what would happen if you//Say what you wanna say//And let the words fall out//Honestly I wanna see you be brave//Everybody's been there,//Everybody's been stared down by the enemy//Fallen for the fear//And done some disappearing//
7.THE TRAVELLING WILBURYS- END OF THE LINE: *Well it's all right, if you live the life you please//Well it's all right, doing the best you can//Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand//Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong//Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove//Well it's all right, if you got someone to love//Well it's all right, everything'll work out fine.
8. THE VERVE- BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY: *Well I never pray//But tonight I'm on my knees yeah//I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah//I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
9. THE XX- YOU GOT THE LOVE: Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air//I know I can count on you//Sometimes I feel like saying, "Lord, I just don't care."//But you've got the love I need To see me through//Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough//And things go wrong no matter what I do//Now and then it seems that life is just too much//But you've got the love I need to see me through.
10. BOB MARLEY- THREE LITTLE BIRDS: In the end, sometimes all you need is a reassuring voice to tell you that every little thing's going to be alright *Don't worry about a thing, //'Cause every little thing gonna be alright.
23/10/15: IN MY OPINION- "WHEN IS IT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO WEAR BLACK TIGHTS?"
So you may or may not have heard or read about the Jess Cartner-Morley article featured in 'The Guardian' analysing "the million-dollar fashion question" 'When is it socially acceptable to wear black tights?' If you haven't then you can check it out here, P.S. I've also stolen the pic from the article (http://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2015/oct/19/fashion-black-tights-women-fashtag)
So you may also now be thinking "and what?" Well as a psoriasis sufferer, black tights are the best invention ever and I can honestly say that I would be completely lost without them. No exaggeration. Tights and cardigans/jumpers/jackets have been a lifesaver for me, a young shy girl already insecure with her appearance who needed and still needs more confidence to reach the point of comfortably showing off her spots, these wardrobe staples have allowed me to continue wearing what I consider to be on trend clothing. This article essentially suggests that it isn't cool to wear black opaque tights any time or any place, that wearing tights shows you to be of a lower social class than those who can afford and have the luxury of time to 'properly' preen their legs and those who don't have to face the cold weather as they can afford to taxi it around the city as opposed to waiting with wobbly legs for the bus. No other issues aside from class, tempretaure and restrictive, conservative (and in my opinion idiotic) imposed fashion standards have been cited for wearing tights. I might be overreacting in finding Morley's article offensive and finding it to reinforce elitist fashion ideals, reinforcing beauty standards and reinforcing the 'spot the odd one out' culture. I thought we were heading in a direction towards a society of acceptance, of non appearance based judgement. Thankfully there was a backlash which I think Morley herself anticipated judging from her twitter announcement. I must admit that I think her assertions are merely down to ignorance. Considering I myself never considered just how much impact on quality of life skin disease can have it might be asking rather a lot to expect a fashion journalist (who in my opinion doesn't seem that fashionable) to possibly investigate, beyond the obvious, reasons why people may wear tights (see, I know how hard it is to be politically correct, I have a little empathy,I'm not suggesting here that fashion journalists in general are ignorant, just that skin disease is rather a niche subject that and in dire need of attention being drawn to it.)
I take issue firstly with the fact that a left to centre ground politically standing newspaper would publish an article that is so clearly not endorsing a feminist positive body image message but instead proclaims that "in the era of 6am Barry’s Bootcamp and Brazilian waxes, when being really quite freaking hardcore about pain is – for better or worse, discuss – way more feminine than baking cupcakes, your willingness to go barelegged is, literally, a black-and-white marker of the degree to which you are prepared to forgo comfort in order to achieve the right look". Ermm...really? Are we in that desperate a situation that to be a feminist should equate to making oneself feel so uncomfortable in their own skin to endure 'pain' in order to make a statement about how physically 'strong' we are. Surely the opposite is true? In committing ourselves to this image of a 'strong' woman we are actually fulfilling the ideal of the male gaze. A hairless, slim, perfectly pigmented with fake tan, NUDE (uncovered by tights) female. Or maybe that is what Morley is trying to say but has gone the wrong way about it? I can see how flaunting your flaws would be positive for feminism, therefore by wearing tights you're admitting that unless your legs are perfect then they shouldn't be on show. Aren't women today supposed to be proud to show themselves truly without having to endure bootcamps and Brazilian waxes? With campaigns for 'plus sized models' who are actually merely a representation of the 'average' healthy female. Even this is radical- an unphotoshopped image of a healthy female- a healthy female who has spent hours having to make themselves look healthy. So what happens if you are unhealthy? unhealthy in the sense that you are suffering from chronic illness which is beyond your control and affects your appearance in a way that is difficult to hide? Do you risk looking like an unfashionable pleb and not fitting in with seasonal trends or do you bare all and put up with feeling anxious and self-conscious about the judgemental stares of others? It's a lose-lose situation. My point here is that creating a trend around bare legs is unfair, not wearing tights when you have nothing to hide is not doing anything to help other people other than making them feel worse about what the beauty industry has identified as flaws. The fact that Morley says "I wear black tights, when it gets really cold. But a tiny part of me dies, the first day I do so." and " I haven’t worn them [tights] yet this season. And that I say that with, if I’m honest, some degree of pride." is like a kick in the teeth. You're PROUD you haven't had to wear tights! Fantastic, Wanna try having psoriasis for a couple of years and then see how you feel? Maybe a tad irresponsible for your comments? Oh, and you die a little when you have to wear tights, you poor, poor soul, my response is equal to one of the other commenters "Imagine how good your life must be if you're actually worried as to when to wear black tights", imagine not having a choice in having to wear tights... unless you want to be stared at and receive negative comments and have yet another knock to your self esteem. Seriously suggesting that "t he rule is the same for black tights as for oysters: only when there is an R in the month." is just ludicrous. I'll stick to wearing my tights all year round thank you very much & to everyone who has commented that it is "lazy styling" and "seasonally confused" can do one, these tights cover a lot more than just hairy legs (although admittedly my legs are also hairy as well as spotty due to hair removal issues I'm sure a lot of psoriasis sufferers can relate to). Instead of boring you further with my angry ranting I'm just gonna bullet point a few other issues/points I would like to make.
*"the rule is the same for black tights as for oysters" : This really isn't fitting for an article in The Guardian, Oysters=posh food of the middle classes. At least you've made it clear that it is very much an elitist, exclusive fashion ideal you are pedalling. Tights really shouldn't be 'classified' they are what they are and I'm sure many rich people also wear tights.
*"Zero-tolerance of tights is only not annoying if you are a diehard fashionista, the type that wears strange trouser shapes and weird shoes and goofball jewellery. If you are that type of person, you can get away with a year-round no-tights-rule and it seems a charming eccentricity – but on most women, it reeks of pulling rank."...."The black-tights issue is fundamental because it separates fashion as actually lived by actual human beings from fashion as seen on models"..." Debate about when or whether to wear black tights is, therefore, a matrix by which we ask all kinds of other questions. Which, I suppose, is why such an apparently boring question is so compelling." I Agree with Morley here and these statements are very redeeming. She's showing how she's highlighting an issue not often discussed, like I said I think she has just messed up quite a lot of her wording but her intention isn't bad. She's agreeing that fashion often creates a divide between the normal, everyday, affordable, comfortable and the extravagant, exclusive, unfair and dismissive. *A response has been provided in the form of a piece by Lucy Mangan(http://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2015/oct/20/in-defence-of-black-tights)
I'm also not completely comfortable with her article which seems to also be saying that wearing tights isn't stylish but it's ok because people who wear tights are aware it isn't stylish and their cool with that because fashion isn't a priority. I disagree, I think tights can be stylish. She also seems to think that tights are a seasonal thing "Lovely, black, opaque, forgiving, warming, streamlining, comforting tights it is. I’ve been wearing them since August." I do like the fact that she has touched on the self-esteem issue though which Morley largely ignored, I love these quotes from her article "I am unwilling to suffer for my appearance. I prefer to be comfortable and let others have to suffer my appearance. But I still believe fashionistas and I are sisters under the skin, be mine ever so unexfoliated....We need to play safe to look our best. Nothing nude nowhere, y’understand? It’s easier, it’s kinder, it frees us from attendant doubts and anxieties and enables us to channel our energies into something likely to bring us reward rather than failure.Black tights are the perfect embodiment in ordinary life of Jeremy Bentham’s famous principle – they bring the greatest amount of happiness to the greatest number of people every day. Because the greatest number of people have imperfect knees and are a bit chilly. Pull on your opaques, people! You have nothing to lose but your gooseflesh."
*My fave response was from DAZED, link below. Very intelligent, Very relatable (I'm also pale with dark hairs) and most importantly highlights the fact that tights are a tool of confidence.
(http://www.dazeddigital.com/fashion/article/27066/1/an-ode-to-black-tights)
"if you’re rich, you can afford taxis to avoid the cold, holidays to get a tan, and leisure time to primp and prime yourself. If you’re normal, you cover up your sins with 60 deniers – something shameful and best avoided as long as possible, as if you’re revealing your embarrassingly low class status. The women you should aspire to be like parade around in bare-legs all year (something that certainly doesn’t speak to any sexist double standards)...In principle, the author is right – it is about priorities, but for most women, I have a feeling it’s about how much they prioritise something she skims over: the Sisyphean task of hair removal. For many, the approach of autumn is a joy accompanied by a ceremonial putting down of razors, of dropping the summer-time pretence that we are smooth, hairless creatures rather than mammals and seeking comfort beneath layers....Time to be real: I am not the kind of girl that hit 14 and developed a bit of peachy fuzz on her shins. I’m a winning combination of dark-haired and deathly pale. On the plus side, I have great eyebrows. On the other, on my first day of primary school I remember my mother telling me that if people picked on me because of my hairy arms, I could tell them it meant I was strong. Kind of cute, kind of sad...The personal is political – as a garment, tights are inextricably intertwined with our self-confidence, they are a comfort blanket against an unfair world that doesn’t see our natural bodies as beautiful”....so black tights were my saviour, a buffer against the self-consciousness of being in a body that didn’t look how glossy billboards told me it should...There are other issues at play too – like like how ‘nude’ shades are often only for white women...So, when is it socially acceptable to wear black tights? I’m more concerned with when it’s going to be socially acceptable to let women’s bodies just be – but until then, you can wear black tights whenever the mood takes you."I shall conclude with a comment left by a Guardian reader, Hayley Grocock, "Holy fuck, The Guardian. Really? In these days when we are told to break through the glass ceiling and all the rest of it, you're publishing articles about what our choice of tights and when to wear them says about the very fibre of our beings? Oh, do fuck off."
08/07/15: OH HEY THERE BLOOD SPOTS
Another night of scratching, another new bed sheet needed.
I must be so frustrating to live with- I'm so amazed my boyfriend hasn't banished me from our house yet. Worse than leaving flakes of skin everywhere (and i mean EVERYWHERE) I go, the majority of nights I leave little dots of blood all over fresh sheets... this is one expense I could really do with out on top of the cost of all my creams.
Also- listening to the sound of me tearing my skin to a satisfying obliteration or tossing and turning in a futile attempt to resist itching combined with heavy sighs isn't conducive to a good nights sleep.
Also- having to put up with my moods due to lack of sleep, insecurity, frustration, anger, pain, uncomfortableness and just generally feeling down which makes it hard to stay happy.
Also- being frustrated with me because I must cover all of my skin at all times which means any intimate time is reserved solely for night time with the lights off and even then not being able to touch me because I'm paranoid he'll be disgusted by feeling the plaques.
Also- some of my treatments are very messy so I ruin even more stuff or mean I can't leave the house until they are completed.
Also- I have very little confidence now around new people , especially his friends/ family as I would like for them to like me but worry about how my appearance will impact their judgement of me so I tend to remain quite and reserved, probably meaning I come across as boring.
So you see, psoriasis doesn't just effect the sufferer.
Although at this point- after scratching my self silly- I am much more concerned with my own pain.
If any one has any recommendations on things to take the pain away / products that don't sting after a scratch fest then I would be incredibly grateful if you could let me know.
I was in pure agony trying to shower this morning.
I know I shouldn't scratch but once you start you can't stop and it feels so good until you start bleeding.
02/07/15: SO THE FAST DIDN'T LAST...
23/10/15: IN MY OPINION- "WHEN IS IT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO WEAR BLACK TIGHTS?"
So you may or may not have heard or read about the Jess Cartner-Morley article featured in 'The Guardian' analysing "the million-dollar fashion question" 'When is it socially acceptable to wear black tights?' If you haven't then you can check it out here, P.S. I've also stolen the pic from the article (http://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2015/oct/19/fashion-black-tights-women-fashtag)
So you may also now be thinking "and what?" Well as a psoriasis sufferer, black tights are the best invention ever and I can honestly say that I would be completely lost without them. No exaggeration. Tights and cardigans/jumpers/jackets have been a lifesaver for me, a young shy girl already insecure with her appearance who needed and still needs more confidence to reach the point of comfortably showing off her spots, these wardrobe staples have allowed me to continue wearing what I consider to be on trend clothing. This article essentially suggests that it isn't cool to wear black opaque tights any time or any place, that wearing tights shows you to be of a lower social class than those who can afford and have the luxury of time to 'properly' preen their legs and those who don't have to face the cold weather as they can afford to taxi it around the city as opposed to waiting with wobbly legs for the bus. No other issues aside from class, tempretaure and restrictive, conservative (and in my opinion idiotic) imposed fashion standards have been cited for wearing tights. I might be overreacting in finding Morley's article offensive and finding it to reinforce elitist fashion ideals, reinforcing beauty standards and reinforcing the 'spot the odd one out' culture. I thought we were heading in a direction towards a society of acceptance, of non appearance based judgement. Thankfully there was a backlash which I think Morley herself anticipated judging from her twitter announcement. I must admit that I think her assertions are merely down to ignorance. Considering I myself never considered just how much impact on quality of life skin disease can have it might be asking rather a lot to expect a fashion journalist (who in my opinion doesn't seem that fashionable) to possibly investigate, beyond the obvious, reasons why people may wear tights (see, I know how hard it is to be politically correct, I have a little empathy,I'm not suggesting here that fashion journalists in general are ignorant, just that skin disease is rather a niche subject that and in dire need of attention being drawn to it.)
I take issue firstly with the fact that a left to centre ground politically standing newspaper would publish an article that is so clearly not endorsing a feminist positive body image message but instead proclaims that "in the era of 6am Barry’s Bootcamp and Brazilian waxes, when being really quite freaking hardcore about pain is – for better or worse, discuss – way more feminine than baking cupcakes, your willingness to go barelegged is, literally, a black-and-white marker of the degree to which you are prepared to forgo comfort in order to achieve the right look". Ermm...really? Are we in that desperate a situation that to be a feminist should equate to making oneself feel so uncomfortable in their own skin to endure 'pain' in order to make a statement about how physically 'strong' we are. Surely the opposite is true? In committing ourselves to this image of a 'strong' woman we are actually fulfilling the ideal of the male gaze. A hairless, slim, perfectly pigmented with fake tan, NUDE (uncovered by tights) female. Or maybe that is what Morley is trying to say but has gone the wrong way about it? I can see how flaunting your flaws would be positive for feminism, therefore by wearing tights you're admitting that unless your legs are perfect then they shouldn't be on show. Aren't women today supposed to be proud to show themselves truly without having to endure bootcamps and Brazilian waxes? With campaigns for 'plus sized models' who are actually merely a representation of the 'average' healthy female. Even this is radical- an unphotoshopped image of a healthy female- a healthy female who has spent hours having to make themselves look healthy. So what happens if you are unhealthy? unhealthy in the sense that you are suffering from chronic illness which is beyond your control and affects your appearance in a way that is difficult to hide? Do you risk looking like an unfashionable pleb and not fitting in with seasonal trends or do you bare all and put up with feeling anxious and self-conscious about the judgemental stares of others? It's a lose-lose situation. My point here is that creating a trend around bare legs is unfair, not wearing tights when you have nothing to hide is not doing anything to help other people other than making them feel worse about what the beauty industry has identified as flaws. The fact that Morley says "I wear black tights, when it gets really cold. But a tiny part of me dies, the first day I do so." and " I haven’t worn them [tights] yet this season. And that I say that with, if I’m honest, some degree of pride." is like a kick in the teeth. You're PROUD you haven't had to wear tights! Fantastic, Wanna try having psoriasis for a couple of years and then see how you feel? Maybe a tad irresponsible for your comments? Oh, and you die a little when you have to wear tights, you poor, poor soul, my response is equal to one of the other commenters "Imagine how good your life must be if you're actually worried as to when to wear black tights", imagine not having a choice in having to wear tights... unless you want to be stared at and receive negative comments and have yet another knock to your self esteem. Seriously suggesting that "t he rule is the same for black tights as for oysters: only when there is an R in the month." is just ludicrous. I'll stick to wearing my tights all year round thank you very much & to everyone who has commented that it is "lazy styling" and "seasonally confused" can do one, these tights cover a lot more than just hairy legs (although admittedly my legs are also hairy as well as spotty due to hair removal issues I'm sure a lot of psoriasis sufferers can relate to). Instead of boring you further with my angry ranting I'm just gonna bullet point a few other issues/points I would like to make.
*"the rule is the same for black tights as for oysters" : This really isn't fitting for an article in The Guardian, Oysters=posh food of the middle classes. At least you've made it clear that it is very much an elitist, exclusive fashion ideal you are pedalling. Tights really shouldn't be 'classified' they are what they are and I'm sure many rich people also wear tights.
*"Zero-tolerance of tights is only not annoying if you are a diehard fashionista, the type that wears strange trouser shapes and weird shoes and goofball jewellery. If you are that type of person, you can get away with a year-round no-tights-rule and it seems a charming eccentricity – but on most women, it reeks of pulling rank."...."The black-tights issue is fundamental because it separates fashion as actually lived by actual human beings from fashion as seen on models"..." Debate about when or whether to wear black tights is, therefore, a matrix by which we ask all kinds of other questions. Which, I suppose, is why such an apparently boring question is so compelling." I Agree with Morley here and these statements are very redeeming. She's showing how she's highlighting an issue not often discussed, like I said I think she has just messed up quite a lot of her wording but her intention isn't bad. She's agreeing that fashion often creates a divide between the normal, everyday, affordable, comfortable and the extravagant, exclusive, unfair and dismissive. *A response has been provided in the form of a piece by Lucy Mangan(http://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2015/oct/20/in-defence-of-black-tights)
I'm also not completely comfortable with her article which seems to also be saying that wearing tights isn't stylish but it's ok because people who wear tights are aware it isn't stylish and their cool with that because fashion isn't a priority. I disagree, I think tights can be stylish. She also seems to think that tights are a seasonal thing "Lovely, black, opaque, forgiving, warming, streamlining, comforting tights it is. I’ve been wearing them since August." I do like the fact that she has touched on the self-esteem issue though which Morley largely ignored, I love these quotes from her article "I am unwilling to suffer for my appearance. I prefer to be comfortable and let others have to suffer my appearance. But I still believe fashionistas and I are sisters under the skin, be mine ever so unexfoliated....We need to play safe to look our best. Nothing nude nowhere, y’understand? It’s easier, it’s kinder, it frees us from attendant doubts and anxieties and enables us to channel our energies into something likely to bring us reward rather than failure.Black tights are the perfect embodiment in ordinary life of Jeremy Bentham’s famous principle – they bring the greatest amount of happiness to the greatest number of people every day. Because the greatest number of people have imperfect knees and are a bit chilly. Pull on your opaques, people! You have nothing to lose but your gooseflesh."
*My fave response was from DAZED, link below. Very intelligent, Very relatable (I'm also pale with dark hairs) and most importantly highlights the fact that tights are a tool of confidence.
(http://www.dazeddigital.com/fashion/article/27066/1/an-ode-to-black-tights)
"if you’re rich, you can afford taxis to avoid the cold, holidays to get a tan, and leisure time to primp and prime yourself. If you’re normal, you cover up your sins with 60 deniers – something shameful and best avoided as long as possible, as if you’re revealing your embarrassingly low class status. The women you should aspire to be like parade around in bare-legs all year (something that certainly doesn’t speak to any sexist double standards)...In principle, the author is right – it is about priorities, but for most women, I have a feeling it’s about how much they prioritise something she skims over: the Sisyphean task of hair removal. For many, the approach of autumn is a joy accompanied by a ceremonial putting down of razors, of dropping the summer-time pretence that we are smooth, hairless creatures rather than mammals and seeking comfort beneath layers....Time to be real: I am not the kind of girl that hit 14 and developed a bit of peachy fuzz on her shins. I’m a winning combination of dark-haired and deathly pale. On the plus side, I have great eyebrows. On the other, on my first day of primary school I remember my mother telling me that if people picked on me because of my hairy arms, I could tell them it meant I was strong. Kind of cute, kind of sad...The personal is political – as a garment, tights are inextricably intertwined with our self-confidence, they are a comfort blanket against an unfair world that doesn’t see our natural bodies as beautiful”....so black tights were my saviour, a buffer against the self-consciousness of being in a body that didn’t look how glossy billboards told me it should...There are other issues at play too – like like how ‘nude’ shades are often only for white women...So, when is it socially acceptable to wear black tights? I’m more concerned with when it’s going to be socially acceptable to let women’s bodies just be – but until then, you can wear black tights whenever the mood takes you."I shall conclude with a comment left by a Guardian reader, Hayley Grocock, "Holy fuck, The Guardian. Really? In these days when we are told to break through the glass ceiling and all the rest of it, you're publishing articles about what our choice of tights and when to wear them says about the very fibre of our beings? Oh, do fuck off."
08/07/15: OH HEY THERE BLOOD SPOTS
Another night of scratching, another new bed sheet needed.
I must be so frustrating to live with- I'm so amazed my boyfriend hasn't banished me from our house yet. Worse than leaving flakes of skin everywhere (and i mean EVERYWHERE) I go, the majority of nights I leave little dots of blood all over fresh sheets... this is one expense I could really do with out on top of the cost of all my creams.
Also- listening to the sound of me tearing my skin to a satisfying obliteration or tossing and turning in a futile attempt to resist itching combined with heavy sighs isn't conducive to a good nights sleep.
Also- having to put up with my moods due to lack of sleep, insecurity, frustration, anger, pain, uncomfortableness and just generally feeling down which makes it hard to stay happy.
Also- being frustrated with me because I must cover all of my skin at all times which means any intimate time is reserved solely for night time with the lights off and even then not being able to touch me because I'm paranoid he'll be disgusted by feeling the plaques.
Also- some of my treatments are very messy so I ruin even more stuff or mean I can't leave the house until they are completed.
Also- I have very little confidence now around new people , especially his friends/ family as I would like for them to like me but worry about how my appearance will impact their judgement of me so I tend to remain quite and reserved, probably meaning I come across as boring.
So you see, psoriasis doesn't just effect the sufferer.
Although at this point- after scratching my self silly- I am much more concerned with my own pain.
If any one has any recommendations on things to take the pain away / products that don't sting after a scratch fest then I would be incredibly grateful if you could let me know.
I was in pure agony trying to shower this morning.
I know I shouldn't scratch but once you start you can't stop and it feels so good until you start bleeding.
02/07/15: SO THE FAST DIDN'T LAST...
and neither did the sellotape idea. I managed to last monday and tuesday with no food but the on wednesday I cracked, I woke up feeling sick and had no energy whatsoever. It may be because I'm not used to it but I'll try again at some point. Next week I'm gonna try another diet adjustment that is more achievable. I will vow to give up dairy for a month.
Don't even get me started on the sellotape, it must be the least practical suggestion I have come across so far. It might have been because I wasn't using the right tape but it just fell off as soon as I had a shower. If there is such a thing as waterproof tape then I might give it a go at a later date but I think bandages or cling film or something may be better. Anyway there's two potential cures I can rule out for the time being.
This time of year is ever so strange for me. I love summer but I also hate it. I find it so ironic that the sun is supposed to be one of the best natural healers for 'p' but in order to reap the benefits you have to expose your skin to it. This means having to let your lesions show and facing the anxiety of the thought of peoples stares and comments. Seems a bit unfair considering that 'p' is a disease often thought to be caused by stress and anxiety. It's also ironic that 'p' seems to strike people who already have confidence and self-esteem issues. Way to go world! Mother nature is a cruel mistress.
On the other hand (Warning! I'm going to get all deep here.) we could take it as a metaphor. Maybe we need to face our demons, reach a place where we are both psychology and physically out of our comfort zone to overcome those fears. I'll be the first to admit that I care far too much about what others think. I absolutely dread people seeing my spots. I can't yet psychologically face going out in sandals, shorts and a t-shirt so instead I cover up leaving no bit a skin exposed and pay the price by sweating profusely and being even more uncomfortable. I'm trying though- yesterday I wore sandals ('p' is really bad on my feet) and felt really empowered, but when I noticed someone starring I wanted to run back home and change. Maybe we need to be comfortable in our own skin metaphorically (comfortable with who we are as a person) before we can be comfortable in our own skins literally (free of 'p'). After all many view 'P' as a psychological disease. This is something which will take a lot more strength and work than any sort of topical, oral or injectable treatment though.
I really wish I could go swimming etc. and just not be sweltering hot but being so self conscious takes the fun out of it. Until I have the strength of mind to overcome my self-consciousness I know my negativity and sadness will continue.
p.s. notice the pun- next week I'm giving up dairy & the image says chin up BUTTERcup- oh I do marvel at my genius sometimes.
(image: http://inspiration-daily.tumblr.com)
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